Books

Lord? of the Rings

Still offering my lead-dispensation services (special discount: pay for two hole-ridden raiders, get a third one free!), I ran across a makeshift training hall, where one of the town’s Rangers was passing some knowledge on to some… well, let’s say “challenging” pupils. At first, nothing seemed out of place. Well, aside from the slightly sad attempts made at correct answers, that is (it’s quite comical, to be honest, though obviously it starts repeating itself after a while. If you’re around the FARM, I recommend stopping by and listening to Stayput and the gang take a lesson or two). But then something Stayput said caught my eye:

FARM Life, lesson one: Stating the obvious

Immediately images of a bearded Viggo Mortensen lopping off bit of Uruk-Hai came to mind, and I started looking for a cranky old dwarf and assorted hobbits, but no such luck: all I could see were a gaggle of Chota (I have decided that the plural for Chota is the same as that for geese), and one FARM Ranger named Aura Gorn who was teaching them the basics of FARM life.

"You must be this short to enter the Fellowship"

Oh well. Maybe the next town over will have Laygo Lass teaching the finer points of crossbow use or Jim Lee giving melee axe training.

Life is Like a Box of (Radioactive) Chocolates

Wandering around the Wasteland, a guy finds a lot of stuff. Poker chips, resources, food and drink. And some of it is pretty run-of-the-mill. But some items… some items are special. Now, on a normal FE site, a “special” item would most likely mean a good item, or at least a rare item. You know, one that would give the finder some bragging rights. However, it’s been quite some time since anyone has accused me of normalcy, and considering the theme of this site, I think we all know what I count as “special” items… That’s right, more FLUFF!

So yeah, besides NPCs and mission titles, I’ve also come across some items that include references in their descriptions. And the first item that comes to mind is the can of peas and carrots.

Observe the tube-iness of it. See the faded label stuck to its curvy side, with bits of it missing. So many bits, in fact, that you’d be hard pressed to give an honest answer if asked what lies within. Watch as a knife cuts into the dented, flat top, and rips through it, following the contours of the rim, revealing the green and orange chunks floating forlornly within the now rancid liquid. Take a moment to consider whether orange and green are in fact the intended colors of the bits of what you rather whimsically refer to as “food,” before you realize that, no, the gunk inside is not discolored; it is just nasty. Dip your spoon (or spoon-equivalent – this is the Wasteland, after all) into the can and scoop out a spoonful. Raise it to your nose and sniff it; take a tentative taste…. yes. Yes, those are indeed peas. And carrots. Together. In a can. Why?

better than fish and chips, bubble and squeak, or even bacon and eggs

To be honest, I’ve no idea if peas and carrots are commonly eaten together. When I was a kid, peas usually came coupled with other veggies instead. Though now that I think about it, there was a song I knew growing up, about a pea and a carrot sitting together in a refrigerator… but even if they are the most common pairing of vegetables to share a can, since 1994 “peas and carrots” immediately brings to mind Tom Hanks narrating his own character’s childhood “Me and Jenny were just like peas and carrots!” in Forrest Gump. And yeah, I know it was a book before it was a movie, but in this case I didn’t happen to read the book, so I’m hearing the movie narration in my mind’s eye. Err… ear? Yeah, I kinda killed that saying, didn’t I?

As an aside, apparently the spellchecker doesn’t know the word “movie.” Or the word “spellchecker,” for that matter, but I can’t really blame it for that.