Items

The Musical Fruit

Times being what they are, peas and carrots are not the only thing that comes in a can. Plenty of other things come packaged in those tin cylinders; some moderately tasty, some strange (brown bread? Really?), and some… well, let’s just say that they cater to the four-legged Wastelanders more than they do to those of the upright variety (I’m looking at you, dog food) One such can is the Old Can of Beans which, if you examine it, will let you know in no uncertain terms (and with a slightly rhyming beat, that beans are, in fact, good for your heart.

Poetry!

For those of you who did not spend your childhood (which judging by several of my friends, consists of years 5-30) in the US, UK, or any other country in which it is known, the above phrase is one verse or variation of the famous bean song, known and loved by kids far and wide, to the dismay of their parents (though I dare say the parents are also laughing inside).

The song has many versions and alternate verses. The one mentioned in the game is, as I know it:

Beans, beans, they’re good for the heart.
The more you eat, the more you fart.
The  more you fart, the better you feel,
so eat your beans at every meal!

For those of you who are really interested, several more versions of this masterpiece of prepubescent poetry can be found here. What can I say, beans are magical. All 54 billion types of them (I still don’t know what fava beans are). Apparently they really are good for you, but they do… encourage, the movement of certain gasses (though apparently there are ways around that). They even have an entire website devoted to them.

Happy Halloween!

Life is Like a Box of (Radioactive) Chocolates

Wandering around the Wasteland, a guy finds a lot of stuff. Poker chips, resources, food and drink. And some of it is pretty run-of-the-mill. But some items… some items are special. Now, on a normal FE site, a “special” item would most likely mean a good item, or at least a rare item. You know, one that would give the finder some bragging rights. However, it’s been quite some time since anyone has accused me of normalcy, and considering the theme of this site, I think we all know what I count as “special” items… That’s right, more FLUFF!

So yeah, besides NPCs and mission titles, I’ve also come across some items that include references in their descriptions. And the first item that comes to mind is the can of peas and carrots.

Observe the tube-iness of it. See the faded label stuck to its curvy side, with bits of it missing. So many bits, in fact, that you’d be hard pressed to give an honest answer if asked what lies within. Watch as a knife cuts into the dented, flat top, and rips through it, following the contours of the rim, revealing the green and orange chunks floating forlornly within the now rancid liquid. Take a moment to consider whether orange and green are in fact the intended colors of the bits of what you rather whimsically refer to as “food,” before you realize that, no, the gunk inside is not discolored; it is just nasty. Dip your spoon (or spoon-equivalent – this is the Wasteland, after all) into the can and scoop out a spoonful. Raise it to your nose and sniff it; take a tentative taste…. yes. Yes, those are indeed peas. And carrots. Together. In a can. Why?

better than fish and chips, bubble and squeak, or even bacon and eggs

To be honest, I’ve no idea if peas and carrots are commonly eaten together. When I was a kid, peas usually came coupled with other veggies instead. Though now that I think about it, there was a song I knew growing up, about a pea and a carrot sitting together in a refrigerator… but even if they are the most common pairing of vegetables to share a can, since 1994 “peas and carrots” immediately brings to mind Tom Hanks narrating his own character’s childhood “Me and Jenny were just like peas and carrots!” in Forrest Gump. And yeah, I know it was a book before it was a movie, but in this case I didn’t happen to read the book, so I’m hearing the movie narration in my mind’s eye. Err… ear? Yeah, I kinda killed that saying, didn’t I?

As an aside, apparently the spellchecker doesn’t know the word “movie.” Or the word “spellchecker,” for that matter, but I can’t really blame it for that.